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 For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 NIV

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The Secret to Real Beauty

Posted on June 19, 2018 at 7:40 AM

Image (without Bible passage) from Pixabay.


Main Passage: 1 Peter 3:1-4 NIV


Focus Verse: But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7NIV


I’ve seen bodies that would seriously take your breath away. Believe me, the gym is full of drop-dead gorgeous people. At least, on the outside. They spend countless hours of attention to their appearance by tweaking their diets and their workouts. They spend a boatload of cash on personal training, supplements, gym clothes, and more. Their looks are their lives. I can also tell you that many, but not all, are very ugly people on the inside. It’s appalling how ugly a beautiful person can be. To me, the condition of their hearts erases all the work they have done on the outside. Like beautiful buildings on the outside, they look great, but on the inside are like boarded up slum buildings in desperate need of an overhaul. What a sad thing indeed.


Even Christian women fall into the appearance trap. We spend so much time and money on our shells, but do we spend time nurturing ourselves spiritually so we can build up our men, working with our husbands as a team?


In our main passage, Peter, now an Apostle, led a church that met in his home. If you go to Capernaum today, you can see his house where the remnants of an old church is built on top, then a modern one over the top of all. In his day, the Roman world was all about physical beauty and self-indulgence. The ruins I saw on my trip to Israel last Fall stand as evidence of this oppulence. Peter addresses married couples, first with wives who he says should submit to the spiritual authority to their husbands. I’m not writing today about submission. Instead, I am looking at what makes us truly beautiful to our husbands (or boyfriends, if that is your situation). Peter says that a woman’s beauty should come from the inside, not our make-up, hair styles, or clothing. It should come from who we are. Why? Many women in Peter's time were drop-dead gorgeous on the outside, but were contentious, demanding, and mean on the inside. They tore their husbands apart verbally. It sounds like a lot of women now, doesn't it? Some of what I overhear from some non-Christian women is absolutely awful about and to their men. Instead, we are called to draw and keep husbands because of who we are in our spirits—gentle and quiet (i.e. not contentious or demeaning). In other words, Christian women are called to adorn themselves with caring, loving, and encouraging demeanors which are the foundation of a gentle spirit.


Our physical beauty will fade as we age. No cream, detox, or botox injections can really change that fact. The beauty we can keep comes from the inside. According to Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Certainly we should take care of our bodies through healthy eating and physical exercise, but our true beauty comes from who we are in Christ. Christian women who take care of themselves, without going overboard, are captivating. Our beauty comes from the inside, which makes us absolutely gorgeous to our men even when we feel like a total mess. We can be hot and sweaty while we still hear, “You are beautiful!” from our men. Some of what women do with their appearances is really for themselves. Many men don’t like the make-up or clothes they choose. They love how ”Whose We Are” looks on us.


When we are pleasing to God before we are pleasing to men, the majority of our beauty treatment is done. When we take care of our bodies through healthy eating and exercise, wearing attractive (not sexy) clothing, sensible make-up and hairstyles, our men’s hearts melt. Both my late husband and my husband now thought I was absolutely beautiful even though I thought I looked like a wreck! One day, after working hard in my garden, I was a sweaty, grimy mess. When I came up to him after I finished, he had that love look in his eyes when he said, “You are gorgeous!” The reason each of them gave me was because I was real. Each man loved the real me. I was stunned by this. I have to admit that sometimes I am crabby, not one of my beautiful features. Evidently, my crabby moments weren’t that bad to them. Beauty begins on the inside, transforming these shells we live in. It will literally take our men's breath away.


For Christians women, the focus is not on our appearance, but on our spirits. Our focus verse 1 Samuel 16:7 says that God doesn’t look at our appearance, rather He looks at our hearts. This is the passage God brought to my mind and heart one morning when I began dating after my first husband passed away. I sat quietly in my seat waiting for the worship service to begin at church that morning when God spoke to me. Why? He wanted to impress on me that looking for a husband was NOT a shopping trip. It could easily have become that with my list of what I was looking for in a potential mate. God wanted me to ask Him for His, “Yes” or “No” with each man I met. He had something better than what I thought I wanted. He had someone I needed. Several months later, I fasted and prayed with my second husband while we were dating because we did not want to waste each other’s time if our relationship was not from God. We both got His, “Yes!” We have been married four years now, both very glad we listened to God. If I had followed my heart, I could have easily sought a husband from one of those gorgeous-on-the-outside-ugly-on-the-inside men. My husband is handsome, but what makes him special is who he is in Christ. I love who he is. If I followed my Hubby Shopping List, I can guarantee it would have been a very different outcome.


So, why are you knocking yourself out with diets and detoxes? Why are you trying to get that killer “booty”? A Christian man worth having will be attracted to the real you, he will look at your heart. Certainly, take care of your body because it is the only one you have to live in. But don’t make it the center of all of your time and attention. I’ve had the gym body. It takes a lot to keep yourself looking that way. Focus instead on living a healthy lifestyle with Jesus at the center, one that you can easily continue while living a godly life. This is true beauty.


Question for discussion: What does your husband (boyfriend) love about you? What are some of his compliments?


May God bless you!


Here at Be Totally Fit for Life! our purpose here is to help you improve your overall health-- physically, mentally, spiritually, and socially--  so you can serve God and others more effectively (Ephesians 2:10). Let me know how I can help you. Feel free to contact me at [email protected].


May God bless you!


Categories: health, faith, relationships

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